PJ

PJ - Poor Joke:

PJs are for us to laugh to reduce the stress from the busy life schedule.

A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
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Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
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Let us be generous like this:
Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says: No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

===============================================If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
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A Junior Software engineer, a Senior Software engineer and their ProjectManager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, theycome across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,I will allow one wish each".

So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fastboat and have no worries. "Pfufffff" and he was gone.

Now the SeniorSoftware engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be inFlorida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff"and he was also gone.

The Project Manager calmly said," I want these two idiots back in theoffice after lunch at 1.30pm"

Moral of the story is:"Always allow the boss to speak first"

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Deadlock:

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,so make all arrangements.

Secretary makes call to Husband: For a week my boss andI will be going abroad, you look after yourself.Husband makes call to secret lover: My wife is goingabroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: I have work for a week, so you neednot come for class.

Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for aweek I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Letsspend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) makes call to his secretary: This week I amspending my time with my grandson. We cannot attendthat meeting.Secretary makes call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband makes call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip. Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: This week we will have class as usual.Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, myteacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry Ican't give you company.Grandpa makes call to his secretary: Don't worry thisweek we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .

PJ

1 )what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wondering how?
thats bcoz....
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

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2) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..

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3) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
..........sita with ravan

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4) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
…….Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

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5) an elephant falls in luv wid n Ant.but Ant's parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k daant bahar hain**

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6) what wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina

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7) 3+ 3 =8
Bataao Kaise?

Bataao Bataao!

Nahi Pata?!!

Are
Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!
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1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution

= Heart Attack

Matlab

scrolll down



DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
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What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think

tired of thinking???



Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

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Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
....
....
..
......



okei don't kill me "Pizza.... Hutna mat"
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ok whats the opp of venky's..

venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)

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Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?

' Come' palakrishnan.

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A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.

:-(

Guess why ?

because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"

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ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gayato kaise bahar
nikalega???????
.........
.........
think
.....
think....
.......
.......
.......
........
........
........
........
geela ho ke nikalega......

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ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge .......

sweets.... nopes

salt...... nopes

think

think



are yaar
birla white cement
kyunki iske ander jaan hei.......


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whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man
jumping from 10th floor?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)

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Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an
Orange ?

think......
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............
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socho socho
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the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!
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Once X asked Y, 'What is the secret behind your happy married life?'
Y said, 'You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.'

X asked, 'Can you explain?'
Y said, 'In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions.'

Still not convinced, X asked Y 'Give me some examples'
Y said,' Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it'

X asked, 'Then what is your role?'
Y said,' My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran , whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these'.

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Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?

Answer:

1. Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER..... ....using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette

2. You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

3. Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne aag lagayee."
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".

4. Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"